Great exploration of this important topic! Here’s how I think the “pot-holed road” analogy has worked in my life: Over time, the road got so many holes that I thought “this is just what it means to live.” Then I found a short patch of smooth road, and that enabled me to notice the bumps.
As I’ve been able to gain more peace, it’s easier for me to notice when I’m triggered and then use that feeling as an entry way. When I was walking around constantly edgy, one more trigger was just part of the status quo.
This is some deep content. Thank you very much for sharing it.
One area for future exploration might be this, if you agree with the idea. The idea is that feeling hurt or offended is normal at times. However a possible solution or two are these: Could it be that I am taking this too personally? Am I giving the person causing the pain too much power over me? Am I having unrealistic expectations in this situation? For example Sally may say something very hurtful, but do I have to expect that Sally will never hurt me, and never disappoint me? Do I have to think about it all right now? Or can I let it slide for now to think about another day, when I've had time to consider it a little more? Or could it be that it doesn't really matter? After all, what person A says to person B often does not matter in the ultimate scheme of things. Perhaps Person A is really not a kind person, or perhaps they are wrong, or perhaps they are attacking me because they are hurting themselves. There is no lack of possibilities of potential reasons... and I can only control my response to this offense. I can choose not to dwell on it too... I can choose how long I want to think about it. An hour? 15 minutes? There is some freedom there... and finally freedom to not think of it eventually. There are better and more useful thoughts, after all.
thanks for reading! really great questions – I agree that freedom comes when we're no longer attached to what was said (or wasn't). I do think that in meaningful relationships, there is some expectation that the other person doesn't intend to disappoint us, but it's also our responsibility to have a conversation with them when we're ready if we feel hurt by them
when we fully accept ourselves, I think we take things far less personally and have more capacity to give others grace :)
I like the metaphorical statemen "Joy is the matriarch of a family of emotions. She won't come into your house if her children are not welcome", suggesting that joy, as an emotion, is like a matriarch who leads and represents a family of positive emotions. In essence, it implies that joy is accompanied by other positive emotions, which could include happiness, contentment, gratitude, and love, among others.
The statement also suggests that in order to experience joy fully, one must be open to welcoming all the positive emotions that accompany it. If one rejects or dismisses these other emotions, then joy itself may not fully manifest.
In practical terms, it emphasizes the interconnectedness of emotions and the importance of embracing positivity in all its forms to truly experience joy and fulfillment in life. Thanks for the thoughful essay!
Great exploration of this important topic! Here’s how I think the “pot-holed road” analogy has worked in my life: Over time, the road got so many holes that I thought “this is just what it means to live.” Then I found a short patch of smooth road, and that enabled me to notice the bumps.
As I’ve been able to gain more peace, it’s easier for me to notice when I’m triggered and then use that feeling as an entry way. When I was walking around constantly edgy, one more trigger was just part of the status quo.
beautiful analogy, Dan! I agree that we're pushed towards resigning to the notion "this is just what it means to live"
isn't it all ultimately about finding peace within and grounding back into our truths?
Feel a tremendous kinship towards this. Thank you!!
glad this essay resonated with you, Rishikesh!
This is some deep content. Thank you very much for sharing it.
One area for future exploration might be this, if you agree with the idea. The idea is that feeling hurt or offended is normal at times. However a possible solution or two are these: Could it be that I am taking this too personally? Am I giving the person causing the pain too much power over me? Am I having unrealistic expectations in this situation? For example Sally may say something very hurtful, but do I have to expect that Sally will never hurt me, and never disappoint me? Do I have to think about it all right now? Or can I let it slide for now to think about another day, when I've had time to consider it a little more? Or could it be that it doesn't really matter? After all, what person A says to person B often does not matter in the ultimate scheme of things. Perhaps Person A is really not a kind person, or perhaps they are wrong, or perhaps they are attacking me because they are hurting themselves. There is no lack of possibilities of potential reasons... and I can only control my response to this offense. I can choose not to dwell on it too... I can choose how long I want to think about it. An hour? 15 minutes? There is some freedom there... and finally freedom to not think of it eventually. There are better and more useful thoughts, after all.
Thanks again!
thanks for reading! really great questions – I agree that freedom comes when we're no longer attached to what was said (or wasn't). I do think that in meaningful relationships, there is some expectation that the other person doesn't intend to disappoint us, but it's also our responsibility to have a conversation with them when we're ready if we feel hurt by them
when we fully accept ourselves, I think we take things far less personally and have more capacity to give others grace :)
I loved this article and completely agree.
This is counter to our western culture that avoids difficulty for a bubble of comfortable.
People run away from challenges rather than meeting them, facing them, and growing stronger and wiser.
Well said 🙂👌🏽
💯 we turn away in attempt to protect ourselves and others when the antidote to what we're all craving is the courage and safety to express vulnerably
I like the metaphorical statemen "Joy is the matriarch of a family of emotions. She won't come into your house if her children are not welcome", suggesting that joy, as an emotion, is like a matriarch who leads and represents a family of positive emotions. In essence, it implies that joy is accompanied by other positive emotions, which could include happiness, contentment, gratitude, and love, among others.
The statement also suggests that in order to experience joy fully, one must be open to welcoming all the positive emotions that accompany it. If one rejects or dismisses these other emotions, then joy itself may not fully manifest.
In practical terms, it emphasizes the interconnectedness of emotions and the importance of embracing positivity in all its forms to truly experience joy and fulfillment in life. Thanks for the thoughful essay!