Great piece! I'm still active in the religion of my childhood and profoundly grateful for the ways it shapes me. One thing that makes it so rich is that there are expectations of service to each other in a way that clubs can't replicate, and something bigger than our chosen intellectual pursuits unifying us--there's plenty of tension. I also participate in Toastmasters (a public speaking club) and most weeks I don't exactly want to go, but am always glad I did. One thing I find important about both is that they attract all kinds of people, and there's an important mixing of socio-economic statuses that we don't always get in social clubs we choose because they're intellectually stimulating.
ah, I love that nuance of the expectation of service to others – I'd agree. I was active in a local church during my teenage years. traditional religious institutions offer us ways to honor of our primal human experiences like shared spiritual beliefs, communal singing, weekly rituals, etc that really instill a sense of belonging to something greater than ourselves
it's a great point on the lack of socio-economic diversity in social clubs (and sometimes age) – it feels like so much of our lives have been niched down in pursuit of optimization and convenience. there's something magical about true third spaces (public libraries!) where people of all walks of life can show up
I love conversations like this, and very much agree with what you said about what we lose in niching down in pursuit of convenience and optimization. True freedom and human flourishing seems to require an element of constraint — things or people we wouldn’t necessarily choose, traditions we choose to submit to, distasteful service projects for people in our groups, etc. Great point on public libraries!
But all this said, I agree that we do need and can very much cultivate deep friendships of choice.
Thank you for your research and beautifully written article, I would also like to be part of the solution. I live in a rural community in Australia, am currently building an art studio with the intention of hosting community building opportunities. This post is very helpful, thank you Cissy.
Oh wow, I haven't thought about the Nicomachean Ethics since college, and I love that you brought up Aristotle's classification of friendships. I think we need all types of friendships in our lives, but I do find myself cherishing and gravitating toward "friendships of virtue" the older I get.
I feel the same way – it's only within the last few years that I've realized how important Aristotelian friendships are to me. deep in Aristotle's work these days 🤓
I've often grappled with the nature of friendships evolving with each stage of life and how to continue to meaningfully cultivate friendships of pleasure
Great piece! I'm still active in the religion of my childhood and profoundly grateful for the ways it shapes me. One thing that makes it so rich is that there are expectations of service to each other in a way that clubs can't replicate, and something bigger than our chosen intellectual pursuits unifying us--there's plenty of tension. I also participate in Toastmasters (a public speaking club) and most weeks I don't exactly want to go, but am always glad I did. One thing I find important about both is that they attract all kinds of people, and there's an important mixing of socio-economic statuses that we don't always get in social clubs we choose because they're intellectually stimulating.
love these reflections, Emily!
ah, I love that nuance of the expectation of service to others – I'd agree. I was active in a local church during my teenage years. traditional religious institutions offer us ways to honor of our primal human experiences like shared spiritual beliefs, communal singing, weekly rituals, etc that really instill a sense of belonging to something greater than ourselves
it's a great point on the lack of socio-economic diversity in social clubs (and sometimes age) – it feels like so much of our lives have been niched down in pursuit of optimization and convenience. there's something magical about true third spaces (public libraries!) where people of all walks of life can show up
I love conversations like this, and very much agree with what you said about what we lose in niching down in pursuit of convenience and optimization. True freedom and human flourishing seems to require an element of constraint — things or people we wouldn’t necessarily choose, traditions we choose to submit to, distasteful service projects for people in our groups, etc. Great point on public libraries!
But all this said, I agree that we do need and can very much cultivate deep friendships of choice.
there’s a great piece on social connection & public libraries that you might enjoy from Connective Tissue: https://open.substack.com/pub/connectivetissue/p/how-libraries-can-become-hubs-for
Thanks for the recommendation! I look forward to checking it out
Thank you for your research and beautifully written article, I would also like to be part of the solution. I live in a rural community in Australia, am currently building an art studio with the intention of hosting community building opportunities. This post is very helpful, thank you Cissy.
so glad that this piece resonated with you, Kath :)
what a beautiful way to infuse your own expression into the solution – we need more creative spaces for intentional convening. rooting for you!
Oh wow, I haven't thought about the Nicomachean Ethics since college, and I love that you brought up Aristotle's classification of friendships. I think we need all types of friendships in our lives, but I do find myself cherishing and gravitating toward "friendships of virtue" the older I get.
I feel the same way – it's only within the last few years that I've realized how important Aristotelian friendships are to me. deep in Aristotle's work these days 🤓
I've often grappled with the nature of friendships evolving with each stage of life and how to continue to meaningfully cultivate friendships of pleasure
Enjoyed this read - I find the topic of less '3rd spaces' in society now under discussed.
Also inspired me to be a part of the solution more - I signed up for a reading rhythms meetup in nyc!
Patricia Mou wrote a great series on third spaces that you might enjoy: https://www.wellnesswisdom.xyz/p/-wellness-wisdom-vol38-what-is-the
glad to hear that – enjoy Reading Rhythms! have heard great things :)