I find it really interesting to read about #2 where you have a perspectives sharing session with your family/travelling squad.
Sounds like a useful reflective activity and a way to help realize everyone's goals for the trip, especially for people are afraid of expressing their desires out in the open due to fear of imposing. At the same time, the structured and deliberate elicitation of feelings seems kind of awkward in a artificial spoonfeeding way to me. On my next road trip with college friends, I hope to try something like this out!
I wasn't exactly sure how it'd go, but I actually found it to be really meaningful for me to go first and set the tone. I was genuine in conveying my desire to deepen my relationship with them and feel like I was able to successfully convey it to them which opened up the portal for them to be more authentic in their shares
good luck with your next road trip! curious to hear how it goes
This is an incredible guide! I had a similar upbringing with my immigrant parents, and even going home to visit them creates anxiety for me. I feel super seen knowing that other people struggle in similar ways (not wanting to cut them off, but not being best friends either). Thanks for doing the work to figure it out!
P.S. Do your parents subscribe to your Substack? I would loveeee to dive into this dynamic on mine but am definitely not in the place where I can with them seeing it.
I see you 🤍 I felt a ton of shame growing up for how much tension I had with my parents and for how I would show up in our interactions. my relationship with them has felt so much more easeful in the last few months as result of doing all the work the last few years – sending you strength that it *is* possible!
they do subscribe and a few friends have sent this essay series to their parents! 🥹
it took a lot of introspection and creating safety within myself to start showing up differently with my parents and speak up my truth out loud (and online). totally understand on where you're at – for the first year or two, I did the work solo before I felt like I was ready to put it to the test. I've lived by introspect in solitude, heal in community
I find it really interesting to read about #2 where you have a perspectives sharing session with your family/travelling squad.
Sounds like a useful reflective activity and a way to help realize everyone's goals for the trip, especially for people are afraid of expressing their desires out in the open due to fear of imposing. At the same time, the structured and deliberate elicitation of feelings seems kind of awkward in a artificial spoonfeeding way to me. On my next road trip with college friends, I hope to try something like this out!
I wasn't exactly sure how it'd go, but I actually found it to be really meaningful for me to go first and set the tone. I was genuine in conveying my desire to deepen my relationship with them and feel like I was able to successfully convey it to them which opened up the portal for them to be more authentic in their shares
good luck with your next road trip! curious to hear how it goes
Oh I love that you wrote this! I am going to travel with my parents this Sat :)
have a meaningful time with them, Caryn! hope some of these nuggets are helpful to draw strength from if/when you need it 😉
Really enjoyed this piece - going to keep these in mind, especially #5 for my next family trip!
excited to hear how it goes :)
Great work
I congratulate you for doing the hard work successfully.
I would be interested to know about your homework as far as getting ready to make the trip as the first step and how did you heal yourself
You are going to inspire lots of people there
Good wishes for your next family time
Remain blessed for ever
thanks, Anjna – here are a few essays where I talk about my introspective journey:
- A lifetime of should-ing: https://www.moremyself.xyz/p/should
- What fuels your ambition? https://www.moremyself.xyz/p/ambition
- Dancing with our shadows: https://www.moremyself.xyz/p/dancing-with-our-shadows
it's been the most meaningful (and most challenging) journey of my life so far
This is an incredible guide! I had a similar upbringing with my immigrant parents, and even going home to visit them creates anxiety for me. I feel super seen knowing that other people struggle in similar ways (not wanting to cut them off, but not being best friends either). Thanks for doing the work to figure it out!
P.S. Do your parents subscribe to your Substack? I would loveeee to dive into this dynamic on mine but am definitely not in the place where I can with them seeing it.
I see you 🤍 I felt a ton of shame growing up for how much tension I had with my parents and for how I would show up in our interactions. my relationship with them has felt so much more easeful in the last few months as result of doing all the work the last few years – sending you strength that it *is* possible!
they do subscribe and a few friends have sent this essay series to their parents! 🥹
it took a lot of introspection and creating safety within myself to start showing up differently with my parents and speak up my truth out loud (and online). totally understand on where you're at – for the first year or two, I did the work solo before I felt like I was ready to put it to the test. I've lived by introspect in solitude, heal in community